


Please

by hopeforrain



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, First Kiss, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Pre-Deathly Hallows
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-28
Updated: 2016-05-28
Packaged: 2018-07-10 16:57:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,006
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6996751
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hopeforrain/pseuds/hopeforrain
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean comes to Seamus' house in the middle of the night to say goodbye.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Please

Seamus woke to a tapping at his window. He tried to ignore it, seeing as it was still pitch black outside, meaning that there was no logical reason why he should get out of his comfortable bed. But whatever was making the tapping sound was irritatingly persistent, so he finally crawled out from under the blankets and stumbled towards the window with his eyes half shut. His sleepiness faded, though, when he saw who was tapping the glass.

“Dean,” he said, unlatching the window and pushing it open. “What are you doing here?”

Dean climbed over the window sill into Seamus’ room. He seemed nervous, distressed even. He had a backpack slung over one shoulder and was dressed in a muggle sweatshirt and jeans. “I came to say goodbye.”

“Goodbye? Dean, why?”

“I’m not going back to school. I should have done this a long time ago. I’m going on the run. I’m not turning myself in to the Ministry. I don’t know what they’re doing to muggleborns, but I know it can’t be anything good. So I’m going off the grid for a bit.” He looked directly into Seamus’ eyes. “I just wanted to say goodbye to you. And to ask you to keep in touch with my family, make sure they’re okay.”

Seamus was feeling a little lost. He had woken up about a minute ago, and now he was having to process his best friend leaving and maybe not coming back ever because who knew how dangerous this ‘being on the run’ thing was going to be. He tried to think of something, anything to say, but all he could manage was, “Of course I’ll check in with them.”

Dean opened his mouth like he was about to say something else, then closed it and turned away. “I’d better go.”

Seamus’ sleep-addled brain was still desperately trying to catch up with what was going on, and he finally figured it out when Dean had a hand on the window frame to climb outside. “Wait, Dean!” He spoke a little too loudly and clamped his mouth shut, distinctly aware of the fact that he should probably be careful not to wake his parents. Dean turned back towards the room, and Seamus looked down at the floor, running a hand through his hair. “I need to tell you something, before you go. I just, I don’t know when I’m going to see you again, and I don’t want this to go unsaid.”

“Okay...” Dean said hesitantly. His expression was unreadable, but Seamus decided to plow through anyways.

“You’re my best friend. And you know I’ve been through just a few boyfriends in the past couple years.” Dean chuckled at that gross understatement, and Seamus scowled at him. “Shut up and let me finish, will you? I’ve gone through a few boyfriends in the last few years, but there’s only one person I’ve ever fallen in love with. And that’s you. And I just had to say that at least once, because I don’t know what’s going to happen now and I don’t know if I’ll ever even see you again and I just needed you to know that I love you, whether that makes you leaving easier or harder or whatever and I don’t even know but I had to tell you.” Seamus could feel himself slipping into his typical meaningless babble, and he was indescribably grateful when Dean placed a hand on his cheek, running his thumb over Seamus’ mouth to quiet him.

“Seamus, I love you so much. And if I could stay here, if we could stay together, I would, but I have to do this. I have to leave.”

Seamus could feel the situation hitting him a little too hard, and tears started forming in his eyes. “Take me with you,” he whispered. “I’ll be ready in ten minutes. Take me with you.”

“I can’t. You’ll be safe at Hogwarts, you can go back. I can’t take you with me knowing you could get hurt. I can’t be responsible for that.”

Seamus hated the logic in Dean’s statement, hated the love he heard in his voice, hated anything that was keeping him from being with Dean, from never having to leave. “Stay with me,” he said, stepping forward so his body touched Dean’s. “I don’t care how long. Just stay with me.”

Dean said nothing. He simply bent his head down and pressed his lips against Seamus’.

This wasn’t how their first kiss was supposed to be. Seamus had pictured it in his head so many times he couldn’t even count anymore, and it wasn’t supposed to be like this. It was supposed to be full of joy and passion and the knowledge that they would never go a day without kissing each other again. It was supposed to be happiness, safety, hope for a future.

This kiss was not like that. This kiss was the fear that they would never see each other again, their desperation to be close for just one more moment, the pain of knowing that this might be the end.

Dean’s breath tasted like spearmint and comfort, and Seamus wanted nothing more than to taste that forever. Dean’s lips were gentle, moving and pressing and opening, and all Seamus wanted was to feel them forever. Dean’s arms wrapped around his body, pulling him up onto his toes, and all Seamus wanted was to stay in those arms forever. 

After several minutes, Dean pulled a fraction of an inch away, breathless, and locked eyes with Seamus. Seamus moved one hand up to touch the side of Dean’s face, thinking nothing but  _ please stay please stay please stay _ . Dean leaned into the touch for a moment, then took a step back towards the window. “I have to go,” he whispered, and turned to climb outside. His feet hit the ground, he turned his head once to look back at Seamus, and then he spun, disappearing from Seamus’ life.

“Please come back to me,” Seamus whispered into the dark.

**Author's Note:**

> I originally intended for this to be a cute, fun get-together fic. Then it turned into angst. I'm kind of sorry about that. (Also, I'm very sleepy right now as I'm posting this, so it might be complete crap. I don't actually know.)
> 
> Comments and kudos are much appreciated, as always!


End file.
